How to avoid common mistakes in your relationship

Being in a relationship can be the best or worst part of your life. Finding someone you are comfortable with and that you enjoy spending time with can be difficult. Keeping it going and keeping the relationship happy and healthy is even tougher. Learning from other people’s mistakes can make sure that you don’t need to go through the lows of your relationship.

Personality types

For those who are new to the Myers-Briggs type indicator test, it is a personality assessment that breaks down into 16 unique personality types. Once you take the test you will end up with a four-letter combination that provides an insight into who you are, what your goals are, and how you interact with others.

When it comes to dating, knowing someone’s MBTI might just help you better understand where a person is coming from and what their preferences are. This can help you to get on better with your partner and maintain a happy and healthy relationship. Additionally, it can always be fun to compare your results.

While these results are not set in stone and cannot guarantee your success in a relationship, knowing someone else’s preferences is a huge plus when dating. This can be especially true if you have met someone online without physically meeting them.

For example, if you are categorized as an ESFJ type, which stands for extroverted, sensing, feeling, and judging, then your natural partner type will likely be an ISFP, Introverted Sensing Feeling, and Perceiving type. ESFJ dating is often a relationship with a lot of intimacy and special care and attention usually in quite a traditional style. This partner type is effective because they likely share a common way of perceiving things. This is just one insight into how these types can be helpful.

Common Mistakes

Once you have worked out which type of personality you and your partner are, it can help you to understand each other better. But this does not mean that you will not fall foul of common mistakes of many relationships. Here are a few different ones to avoid.

Saying “nothing is wrong”

Sometimes you feel like issues or insults are so obvious to you that you cannot believe that your partner does not understand that something is wrong. Rather than discussing the problem, it can be easier to sit and sulk, silent and livid that they do not seem to care that you are upset. Even if they ask it is easier to say nothing.

The problem with this method is that it may alleviate the initial awkwardness but is just a band-aid on the situation, a temporary fix. It allows the problem to fester and arise or explode in the coming days, weeks, or months, much larger than the initial problem.

Walking away

This is a tough one. It should not be mistaken for taking time away to get space and removing yourself from a heated discussion to clear your head. If you feel overwhelmed, you should be able to ask your partner for a break so that you can collect your thoughts. However, the conversation should not be abruptly ended without a resolution.

Allowing this type of behavior to develop makes it easier to continue and to avoid problems. It is a slippery slope. Again, it is easier to avoid conflict, but you should always swallow your pride and allow for discussion to begin.

Reacting on emotion

If you are an emotional person who likes to openly express their feelings, positive or negative as soon you feel them then this can lead to unexpected issues. Acting on emotion can lead you to make quick assumptions and then act upon those without giving due consideration to the situation. Not only can this upset you but can spark intense arguments.

Keeping Score

There can be no winner in arguments in a relationship. If you keep score and tally everything in your relationship, then you will grow tired and resentful. As soon as an issue has been resolved and one of you has apologized, move on and forget about it. Revisiting an issue is never helpful and will only reopen the problem.

Learning to accept apologies can make a relationship so much easier. Nothing will ever completely even out so the best way to ensure happiness is to let things go after you have solved the problem.


As everyone knows, relationships are never easy. However, they are the most rewarding part of many lives. Working at them can ensure that you remain happy and can enjoy your time with your significant other.

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